The Man They Called Martha.

I received a check plus for the following piece. I rather enjoyed it and figured I could share it with you all. I  again warn you that it does contain abrasive language. This is 100% unedited (grammar), so keep that in mind.

And if you've made it this far, enjoy.

“Martha,” Matt said, “Get over here right now.”

                “I told you, I aint going to help you run that shit anymore.” I said.

                “You’re my brother, Marth,” Matt said, “You have to.”

                “I leave for Iraq in five days,” I said, “I don’t have time to look after you. Fuck man, I’m your younger brother. You’re the one who supposed to look after me.”

                Matt’s spit landed right in front of me. I grabbed his neck and slammed him against the wall. “I won’t let you ruin yourself, mate.”

                “Fuck off, Martha,” Matt said choking, “you think you have to save everyone and you don’t. You think that joining the fucking Marines is gunna make daddy love you more? You think he’ll forgive you for getting an English degree instead of some business one? Open your eyes Martha. This family is fucked. There isn’t anything you can do.”

                I threw him to the ground. I kicked him in the chest. I kicked again and again. “Fuck you, Matt,” I spit on him, “I care, I care! That’s why I try to keep us together. Renee and Ryvre have it figured out. You’re the fuck up Matt. Dad don’t give a shit about us. We’re his childhood mistake. The only thing that’s changed is now were publicity for a campaign. The only reason dad pays attention to you is cause you’re the only one that can fuck with his chances at office.”

                Matt started crying. “We’re on our own Matt. We’re on our own.” I said picking him up and wiping the blood from his mouth.

                “Why,” Matt sobbed, “Why?”

                “Cause life is shit,” I said, “that’s why.”

Dialogue (Soldiers)

WARNING CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE 

You've been warned.

Also before I get started I would like to say, I have gotten a fair number of views and a few comments, but I would really like more comments. Grammar, Criticism, What you liked, what you didn't, etc.

Enjoy, Hayden Gainey

“You’re fuckin kidding me, right?”
                “No bro, I seriously have to lay the biggest dukie right now.”
                I sigh heavily, “Fine, how’re we gonna do this?”
                “Just wait outside, bro.”
                I look at Smith and say nothing for a moment.
                “Yeah…forget I said that.” Smith puffs his cheeks out and thinks for a moment. “Just wait by the door?” He smiles comes, and then slides off his face just an easy as it went on.

                I grasp his collar, “Alrighty, but if one of them ragheads comes and guns meh down, Imma kill ya, ya hear?” I shoulder my rifle and begin a slow crafted crawl towards the only doorway leading outside.

                Total calm as I gaze out the door through the scope of my rifle. It quite a nice day for a shit really, I’ve always admired Smith’s timing. “Jesus, boy you got the runs or somethin?”
                “Just watch the damn door Boyle!”
                “This goes in the report, right?”
                “Fuck you, Boyle.”

                I chuckle to myself and continue to keep watch, surveying the shattered building and dusty dirt roads. A glint catches my eye, the top of a friendly helmet rustling about in a build not far from our current position. Not a few second later my radio cracks to life, “This is Alpha-3 is Viper-2  out there, over?”
                “Is that you Alpha-3 over there dry-humpin each other, just north of the outpost?”
                “Sure is. I’ll tell the boys to put their dicks away. We good to move up?
                “Yeah,” I wave my hand in the air, “Do ya see me?”
                “Sure do, we’re moving up cover our asses.”

 I place my radio back into it pouch as soon as the radio ceased to crackle. “Hey, Smith put your drawers back on and get your shit together.” I pause and turn my head towards Smith, “Don’t actually touch your shit, That’d be a bit disgusting.

“You think you pretty funny, dontcha bro.”

Alpha-3 filed into to what became a small cramped single roomed hut. The LT walked up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder, “What are ya’ll doin out here. You supposed be back up at the outpost?”
                “No, we’re up here scoutin, making sure those ragheads aren’t sneakin up too close.”
                “Sounds terrific, what’d ya say ya walk us back to the outpost?”
                “For sure, sir follow me and Smith.” I turned to walk towards the door with my hand on the LT’s back guiding him when a yell rung out from behind us.

If you read this far, you'll notice the story doesn't end. I wrote one page, but honestly one page is not much to go one, so I ask that you instead critique the dialogue of the characters what works, what doesn't.

Also before someone says anything, The profane language is necessary, end of story.

The Cabin

The lock to the door took some time to jiggle open, it seemed to hesitate letting me in, it had been quite some time since I last resided here. I opened the door to a dark room covered in furniture covered with dusted white linens, in the darkness the room seemed to stretch into forever. I stepped inside and fumbled with one of the electric torches I had brought my finger freezing inside my gloves made this more difficult. There would be now heat or electricity until the utilities company came, until then the fireplaces and electric torches would have to suffice. I got the torch lit and set it down on the end table to my left. It helped it illuminating more of the dust cloaked linens that made out the shapes of various items of furniture. “Hello” I called out.

                No answer. I could clearly see the fire place and made my way towards it, most of the room still faded into the darkness. I tossed a log into the fireplace and proceeded to start it, getting up only after I had assured it would not die out in my absence. The door just opposite of the fireplace was the furthest thing I could make out and I knew it led to the room which has previously served as my quarters. The door creaked in anticipation of my opening it. The door slid open with no further contest and upon entering a wave a stale air intruded my nose, a reminder of the time that had pasted since I resided here. The Victorian silk canopy bed caught a flicker of light from the fireplace and seemed to swallow the room. I set my belongings down on it, it groaned. I turned around and knelt down to start a fire in the fireplace across from the foot of the looming bed. “Hello,” I jumped back, the fireplace roared to life.              
                “Who’s there!”
                “Calm yourself it’s only me.”
                “How’d you get in here?”
                “You let me in a long time ago, John.”
                “I seem to forget that don’t I?” I sigh.
                “Yes you do”
                “Why are you still here?”
                “Why did you come back?”
                “A lot of reasons, John.”
                “No, you couldn’t even leave.”
                “Fuck you John!” I stood up. The fire flickered casting an eerie light on the Victorian styled walls. I stood awhile more in silence. The crackling of fire surrounded me. The cabin settled. I wandered back out into the main room. The same eerie glow followed me, it seemed inescapable.
                “ John?” There was no reply.

I stood motionless, waiting for a single sound. The fire continued to rage, I wished it would hush for just a moment. I flew to the entrance and found my lantern where I had placed it on the end table next to the door. The oak door was wide open and the cold mountain air sent me a chill. Nothing but darkness greeted me at the far end of the porch, motionless. I stood there and for the first time felt freedom. I felt completely alone.

Intro of Sorts

Hello, my name is Hayden Gainey and this is my blog. I'll be covering all kinds of stuff. I'll be posting a lot of my work on here for criticism and such. Talking about stuff I think is important and sharing a little bit of what goes on in my head. If you interested in a blog that provokes thought I would definitely read this one as well as check out this one written by a friend of mine:  http://alexandergoosethoughts.blogspot.com/

Feel free to contact in any of the following ways:

-In the comments section.

-Twitter: @Clan_Destine

-Skype: urstorm47

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hayden.gainey

-Or through google plus which I believe is already linked somewhere over there ---->

Until we meet again, thanks for reading.

Hayden Gainey

A Storm Called Jon

Below is a story or part of that I wrote for an English class I am taking this semester (Fall 2012). I hope you enjoy and I want to hear all criticisms both good and bad. Here she is:

The mail box opened slowly, its hinges fighting against twenty years of nature. Jon grabbed the mail. He took it and shook it off to his side, then attempted to wring it out by pressing it against the chest pocket of his coat. Water proceeded to drip from the mail on to Jon. Jon paused and shut his eyes for a moment before looking down. He sighed heavily, “Looks like I pissed myself,” He held the mail away from himself as if it had become radioactive, “Next time they can get their own damn mail.”

                Jon walked back to the ancient cabin. He climbed the steps; they moaned and cried as if they would give out any minute. Once he entered he ran up stairs and briskly changed his wet coat for a dry one. Snatching his keys, Jon was outside once more. He climbed in his car and slammed the door. Jammed the key in and cranked it as far as it would go. The car struggled to turn over. “Come on, you cock sucker.”Jon said through clenched teeth. Jon twisted the key even further. The car failed several more times before finally coming to life. Jon slammed the gas pedal and exploded out of the cabin’s parking area, spraying wet gravel everywhere. He glanced down at his watch and accelerated even more.

                Jon’s phone rang, he reached into his coat and fumbled around, muttering curses until finally finding his cell. “Yeah?” he answered, “I’m coming don’t worry.” He clamped the phone harshly and shoved it into a nearby coat pocket.

                The wheels of the tires squealed around the corner entrance to the large shopping mall parking lot and into the first parking stall Jon set sight on. Jon threw the door open and stepped out. “Gah!” He yelled, lifting a soaking wet foot up. Jon slammed the door once more causing the car to roll forward into the large pole that held lighting for the parking lot. “You want to leave me too, you pile of shit.”

                Jon breathed out and brushed off his coat, he had had quite the week. He was here to get away from the city and his job for awhile. Larry had invited him, little to Jon’s knowledge this hole in the wall town had only two things going for it. This shopping mall, and the road leading out of town. Jon proceeded inside and met Larry and Samantha near the food court.

                Jon had met Larry and Samantha while in the Navy. He had been friend with them ever since. “How’s the cabin?” Larry inquired.
                “Grand.” Jon stated flatly only after a few seconds did he add a semi-sincere smile to act as assurance.
                “Good, well this is where the funs at.” Larry held up his hands as if to show Jon something he had never seen.
                “Yeah.” Jon nodded.
                “It’ll be nice to get away from the city and…well it’ll be nice,” Samantha stopped hoping not to offend Jon, but continued almost immediately with, “Now you go on down and check out the new sporting goods store, I have to meet Diana at the hair salon.” She turned and waved back to Jon and Larry.
                Larry Nodded in the direction of the sports store and proceeded towards it. “This small town living is different but you get used to it.”
                “I don’t Larry” Jon spoke when someone at the checkout counter caught his eye. Someone too familiar, Jon had to lean over and squint his eyes a little to be certain. Jon snapped back and his hands became steady, he looked straight forward, his eye filled with hate and rage.